Yesterday, when I woke up, I had a clear plan for the day: Clean up the house and go out. However, when I finally got out of bed at noon, I immediately sat down at my computer and started watching TV. The hours flew by and suddenly my watch ticked three. By now I felt like the day was wasted, and it wouldn't make a difference if I rushed with the housework, since I would hardly make it in time to see my friends.
In the next four hours I took out truckloads of trash and compost, washed and hanged clothes to dry, I did the dishes and took care of the cats. I even spent an hour trying to vanquish a ketchup stain on a white shirt but defeated. After this tight battle, I went for a walk. Well actually I went to buy bread and cream, for a tasty desert I whipped up later. On my ''walk'' I couldn't help but feel miserable. It was as if I was housewife, a desperate houseteen. Only I was no Bree Van De Kamp, but more a Susan Mayer who, although put a lot of effort into it, did not do a very good job with all the cleaning.
Coming back from the store I called some friends to ask what they were up to. Most were out, some to the movies, some just having fun and others bowling with their friends. I was jealous, and decided to eat the feelings away. I went home and whipped up a tasty dessert, it was no Susan Mayer dessert nor a Bree, but it was good.
Sugar flowing in my blood, I felt happy again. I had not seen my friends or gone for a morning jog, but at least I had made a good dessert and got some of the housework done. This small pleasure wasn't enough to make my day, but it made me learn something about myself: I will rather run a marathon in high heels, than become anybodys housewife.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Indecisive decision-making
Since forever, have I struggled to keep doing something that I've started. Football, Ice-skating, skateboarding, boxing and a wide range of dances, have all fallen to make a lasting impression on me, even the 10 year struggle of playing the violin came to an end a few years ago. Looking back, I have always felt a sting of failure. My brother, on the other hand, being very focused on pixel-art from a young age, now works as a graphic designer. That is a lot more to show for dedication than I have. In about half a year, I will turn 18. In Finland that is the BIG age so to say, for me however, it is a ticking time bomb telling me to DO SOMETHING, before I am lost forever and might as well play the ever failing Dennis in Run Fatboy Run.
Many might wonder, why am I in such a hurry to achieve something by the age of 18, after all, there are many years of life beyond 18: I blame the media! Even though I'm not after the young fame or any of that wackness, I am however a believer in the phrase practice makes perfect, and I want to start something at a fairly young age, to be able to achieve good results later.
Though being a very indecisive persona, I have finally thought out something that I have had a secret admiration and love for: Climbing. When I was about 8, our family and some close friends took a trip to lake district in England and hopped up and down some mountains. As a young child, I was the mountain goat of the bunch, always first at the top, grinning at the older boys stumbling behind. A few years later we went cycling for three weeks in Lapland, a terrible experience at the time, with loud campsites and even louder insects, but after an excrutiating cycle up the fjeld Koli, I felt pride like never before. So that it must be, trecking and climbing, because almost all of the most exciting and amazing experiences of my life include tough workout and heights.
So, I think it is now time to take an important new step in the life and struggles of Tessa Dean, and book some wall-climbing lessons, because that too is a part of climbing and trekking. From there I can advance, gain experience and who knows, maybe someday I will achieve something great, far greater than my brother's infinite arranging of pixels, something like: climbing over the Southern Alps of New Zealand, or even the Andies!!... Ehh. Maybe I will settle for some walks up the park for now.
Many might wonder, why am I in such a hurry to achieve something by the age of 18, after all, there are many years of life beyond 18: I blame the media! Even though I'm not after the young fame or any of that wackness, I am however a believer in the phrase practice makes perfect, and I want to start something at a fairly young age, to be able to achieve good results later.
Though being a very indecisive persona, I have finally thought out something that I have had a secret admiration and love for: Climbing. When I was about 8, our family and some close friends took a trip to lake district in England and hopped up and down some mountains. As a young child, I was the mountain goat of the bunch, always first at the top, grinning at the older boys stumbling behind. A few years later we went cycling for three weeks in Lapland, a terrible experience at the time, with loud campsites and even louder insects, but after an excrutiating cycle up the fjeld Koli, I felt pride like never before. So that it must be, trecking and climbing, because almost all of the most exciting and amazing experiences of my life include tough workout and heights.
So, I think it is now time to take an important new step in the life and struggles of Tessa Dean, and book some wall-climbing lessons, because that too is a part of climbing and trekking. From there I can advance, gain experience and who knows, maybe someday I will achieve something great, far greater than my brother's infinite arranging of pixels, something like: climbing over the Southern Alps of New Zealand, or even the Andies!!... Ehh. Maybe I will settle for some walks up the park for now.
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