I like to read. I don't read too often, due to a lack of interest in starting a project like reading. However, the reason why I like to read is simple and common: It's a great way to loosen up and let your thoughts rest, diving in the world of font and paper. Bad books are no fun though. You can recognize a bad book from the toughness of reading it. If you feel like it's forced, you shouldn't feel obliged to continue. But don't be fooled by boring books! Boring books have their upsides: If the start and ending are good, you might be happy to have scrolled through all those pages. And in the end, the ending truly matters. A good ending is the crown jewel.
The four last weeks of my life truly have been book worthy. It's not like I'm going to start writing an autobiography, blogging is as far as I will go with it, but if you can say something about those pre-mentioned weeks, I would call them dreamy. What I'm trying to say is, that these weeks have been something out of the ordinary. So much has happened and in a totally different setting as my usual life. No parents, home alone and somehow I've managed to slave myself a (censored) of my own. I had friends around most of the time and felt almost complete control over my actions. Polar bear partying, late nights chatting with friends, cuddling my (pillow) and getting meals cooked for me by my (slave). All was fine, all was different.
Like books, even my flash of independent life had to come to an end. My mother returned from her trip to New Zealand, which ended the late nights with friends. Although it's nice to have her around, it has also brought me back to the old lifestyle of sharing the house. So no more late visits from friends or messing up the house. The more apparent step back to basics went in action last Sunday. Around midnight that day, my (slave) left to Laos for three weeks. It's not like he's staying there for ever, but it's the absence that makes me realize, my life is almost the same now as before my mother left: family life with no (slave).
Time for the problemo of this long blog: What the heck did I do and how the heck did I spend my time four weeks ago? I've been finding it difficult to figure out what to do after school simply because I can't remember what I used to do. I have more time for friends and interests, which is good, but somehow I feel very lonely and sad anyway. It has only been two days, so maybe it will come back to me, but ideas are very, very welcome. Any ideas involving splurging money, can not, however, be accepted.
Well, that's that for now. Oh, and P.s. I have now managed to climb some negative walls in wall-climbing, so that's one step closer to fulfilling my dreams. Maybe some day I will go to Laos and climb rocks, leave the slave home to hug his pillows. And I won't stay just for three weeks! Now there's an ending.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Scrutinizing the reward-guidelines for government-owned companies
In my last blog I mentioned a serious lack of depression and sadness in my life resulting in a writers block. Note: Lack. In addition, I decided to take on more social subjects and topics, that refer to phenomenons or events around us. Choosing a more meaningful subject than my own life seemed like a good idea, but come to think about it, it's not. We all know my life is way more interesting than politics or economy. Also, I know nothing about politics or economics. Well, maybe a little. Instead of the headlining topic, this post is hereby re-named: Late nights before the spring awakens. Sounds posh right? Slightly poetic with a twist of lame and cliche.
Friday was a good day. Although the idea of spending the last two months of school mostly in school (8am - 4:15pm/5 days a week) haunted me slightly, there was nothing bringing me down properly, as me and Miranda sat on the rocks next to our school, enjoying the sun, coffee and the sound of grit-free streets. Watching other people run in a circle suffering, was a good plus. The day was almost perfect, I didn't mind being there at all.
Later in the day I ran around town and Vantaa, searching for food for a birthday-party we were setting up for a friend in the evening. She was turning 18, and we thought it would be a good idea to organize a surprise birthday, with a cocktail-theme (not to my liking). After fixing up some tomato, mozzarella, pesto and smoked salmon, avocado, lemon -appetizers with an additional cake and pastries, we sat down and waited for the birthday girl to arrive. The wait was long, so in the meantime we came up with a plan: The b-day girl's boyfriend would hide in a room, sitting on the bed with a rose in his mouth, card in his lap with the rest of the house dark. I would hide under the bed covers and Krista would be ready to take a picture as the b-day girl walked in. To completely understand the brilliance of this plan, you should know, that for the whole previous week all of us had been lying that we were only going to have a small girls-night with the four of us, no boyfriends or extra people allowed. We also told her we were waiting, wearing pyjamas and messy hair. The truth was, everyone else was nicely made up, wearing cocktail-skirts and heels, well, everyone except me. I had failed to pick out a dress, because even though I tried every single awful dress in Gina Tricot and H&M, I hated them all. So I was dressed as a polar bear with a waistcoat and bow tie.
The plan worked brilliantly, she was amazed and joyful when she realised who it was waiting for her. I think my suit also made an impression though. So we had her put on the dress we bought her, with all the bling too of course. And the night went on with more people arriving as they could, eating food and sipping drinks. It was a nice mellow party, not too many loud mouths going on and on about boring yadayada. Dancing was also detected during the night: Me, in my polar bear costume, rocking it away, alone. I guess there always has to be a clown. More, additional people involving dancing, was also spotted later on, so let's take it as me inspiring people to lift their feet and let the tennis bat swing.
Hopefully I will get some pictures, to explain the vibe a bit better, not that you would ever understand the magic of wearing that over sized furry-suit that almost caused my death in one point (It lit up a little bit, but no worries, the suit just needs a little patching). So an all-in-all successful birthday with all the characteristics of a party: Munchies, refreshments, stupid dancing, disco/Christmas lights, a clown, fire hazards, one ''complaint'' from the downstairs neighbour (''Are you guys having a party? Hey, wait a minute, aren't you the one who borrowed two euros from me?'') and a hell of a mess afterwards. Hi mum! Hi dad!
All is good now anyway. It was a late night after a beautiful spring day. I finally feel like spring is here and I have awakened from the endless night of winter. But not like in that musical...
There's a lot of symbolism involved in that one day and the weeks surrounding it. Living alone has been a good ride so far, no doubt about it. Maybe I should write poems and challenge my friend Iiro in the strange-poetry section.
The polarbear dies,
Sitting on the freezer
Smoke rises,
Flames light up
CO2,
Smoking kills,
So does drowning.
Friday was a good day. Although the idea of spending the last two months of school mostly in school (8am - 4:15pm/5 days a week) haunted me slightly, there was nothing bringing me down properly, as me and Miranda sat on the rocks next to our school, enjoying the sun, coffee and the sound of grit-free streets. Watching other people run in a circle suffering, was a good plus. The day was almost perfect, I didn't mind being there at all.
Later in the day I ran around town and Vantaa, searching for food for a birthday-party we were setting up for a friend in the evening. She was turning 18, and we thought it would be a good idea to organize a surprise birthday, with a cocktail-theme (not to my liking). After fixing up some tomato, mozzarella, pesto and smoked salmon, avocado, lemon -appetizers with an additional cake and pastries, we sat down and waited for the birthday girl to arrive. The wait was long, so in the meantime we came up with a plan: The b-day girl's boyfriend would hide in a room, sitting on the bed with a rose in his mouth, card in his lap with the rest of the house dark. I would hide under the bed covers and Krista would be ready to take a picture as the b-day girl walked in. To completely understand the brilliance of this plan, you should know, that for the whole previous week all of us had been lying that we were only going to have a small girls-night with the four of us, no boyfriends or extra people allowed. We also told her we were waiting, wearing pyjamas and messy hair. The truth was, everyone else was nicely made up, wearing cocktail-skirts and heels, well, everyone except me. I had failed to pick out a dress, because even though I tried every single awful dress in Gina Tricot and H&M, I hated them all. So I was dressed as a polar bear with a waistcoat and bow tie.
The plan worked brilliantly, she was amazed and joyful when she realised who it was waiting for her. I think my suit also made an impression though. So we had her put on the dress we bought her, with all the bling too of course. And the night went on with more people arriving as they could, eating food and sipping drinks. It was a nice mellow party, not too many loud mouths going on and on about boring yadayada. Dancing was also detected during the night: Me, in my polar bear costume, rocking it away, alone. I guess there always has to be a clown. More, additional people involving dancing, was also spotted later on, so let's take it as me inspiring people to lift their feet and let the tennis bat swing.
Hopefully I will get some pictures, to explain the vibe a bit better, not that you would ever understand the magic of wearing that over sized furry-suit that almost caused my death in one point (It lit up a little bit, but no worries, the suit just needs a little patching). So an all-in-all successful birthday with all the characteristics of a party: Munchies, refreshments, stupid dancing, disco/Christmas lights, a clown, fire hazards, one ''complaint'' from the downstairs neighbour (''Are you guys having a party? Hey, wait a minute, aren't you the one who borrowed two euros from me?'') and a hell of a mess afterwards. Hi mum! Hi dad!
All is good now anyway. It was a late night after a beautiful spring day. I finally feel like spring is here and I have awakened from the endless night of winter. But not like in that musical...
There's a lot of symbolism involved in that one day and the weeks surrounding it. Living alone has been a good ride so far, no doubt about it. Maybe I should write poems and challenge my friend Iiro in the strange-poetry section.
The polarbear dies,
Sitting on the freezer
Smoke rises,
Flames light up
CO2,
Smoking kills,
So does drowning.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Eternal Burning of the Careless Mind
There comes a time in ones life, when feeling miserable is about all you can feel. Days, or periods of floating in one's self pity, feeling alone and hopeless. Every normal person has experienced that, and if not, they are either alien or Tom Cruise* (*read: alien) . Although low points are something a lot of people fear, every now and then it's actually a good thing to let out and think about everything wrong with you and the world. It makes you think about your life so far and make adjustments to ease the future. These adjustments hardly ever work, but it's all apart of our survival. Through the roller coaster we ride, and we learn and we find our true selves.
Enough with all the deep-talk. It's time to switch the emo-music your secretly listening to, to something better, like anything else except My Chemical Romance (Besides, it's so 2006). Trust me, there are a lot worse things in the world than not getting a car for your sweet 16. For instance: Me being happy! Being happy and without a care in the world sucks even worse than your old vacuum cleaner. I have absolutely nothing to write about, and I have totally lost all the mystique and absent-mindedness that made me at least a bit interesting. When nothing affects you, nothing stands out. And when nothing stands out for me, I don't get any inspiration or subjects to nag about. So from now on, or for the time being, I will concentrate on more interesting subjects than my now happydappyloviedoviebowie -life. As a result, for my next blog I will write about scrutinizing the reward-guidelines for government-owned companies. They say social subjects are way more interesting right?
Enough with all the deep-talk. It's time to switch the emo-music your secretly listening to, to something better, like anything else except My Chemical Romance (Besides, it's so 2006). Trust me, there are a lot worse things in the world than not getting a car for your sweet 16. For instance: Me being happy! Being happy and without a care in the world sucks even worse than your old vacuum cleaner. I have absolutely nothing to write about, and I have totally lost all the mystique and absent-mindedness that made me at least a bit interesting. When nothing affects you, nothing stands out. And when nothing stands out for me, I don't get any inspiration or subjects to nag about. So from now on, or for the time being, I will concentrate on more interesting subjects than my now happydappyloviedoviebowie -life. As a result, for my next blog I will write about scrutinizing the reward-guidelines for government-owned companies. They say social subjects are way more interesting right?
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